batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
