yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
