We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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