What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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