I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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