He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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