I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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