doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
time to smoke my breakfast
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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