something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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