i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
