do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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