we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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