btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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