Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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