it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
