If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
