I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
