Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
