um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize