I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
