no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
