Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
