Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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