Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Every concussion has its silver lining
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize