I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
