covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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