I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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