Where is the hickey?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
