Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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