you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
