Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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