i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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