Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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