My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
