I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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