I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
