If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
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you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
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I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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