This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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