A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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