Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
