im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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