But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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