I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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