I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
