the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
