I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
