I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
