like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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