And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You did what with his pubic hair?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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