he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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