And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
