...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
