GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
