I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.