Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this