I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.