11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just threw up on my dentist
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
