I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
