I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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