whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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