Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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