I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
