No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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